Forgiveness in Three Parts
by I Skip-I Trip-I Fall
Summary: "My heart hurts constantly and I can't make it stop." Luke looked up at her and smiled, taking her hand. He grazed her knuckles with his thumb. "Tell me about it." Java Junkie, with slight hints of Lit. Set at the start of Season 6


**So hey. *Waves awkwardly* **

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore girls. Shocker, right?**_

* * *

><p><strong>Part I<strong>

_"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."_

_Lemony Snicket_

The world is filled with beautiful, vacant people. Stunning shells of bright eyes and sparkling smiles filled with absolutely nothing. Empty caskets baring their empty cargo. Rory Gilmore had always thought of herself as someone who was attracted to real people and genuine emotion. This is why it surprised her that she had been drawn to the sparkle. It caught her attention and drew her in. A wasp caught up in the flame. She lived the life of luxury, and for what? A charade of a relationship with a person who didn't even remotely understand her? Grandparents who were using her to desperately cling to the idea of a _"proper family" _and had somewhere in the mix forgotten all about her well being? An empty pool house stuffed full of discarded dreams?

Dreams are what keep you out of the harshness of reality. Dreams allow you to live in worlds of make believe. They let you keep our innocence happy. Everyone grows up at some point and very few dreams are realised. A lack of dreams sends us plummeting into the loneliness that we all feel so keenly. Floating alone on a wide, wide sea. Rory feared that would happen to her. Rory feared she was already there.

...

__"You have called the Gilmore house hold. If you are my fiancé…. I love you too. If you are my step-nephew, sorry, I am also broke. If you are a friend, leave a message after the tone. I might get back to you. If you are a salesman...FORGET IT__

_..._

So she kept moving forward. Plunging into a society she didn't understand. Didn't want to understand either for that matter. Tea parties and luncheons held no interest to her. The world of the DAR seemed superficial. Just as her mother always said it would be.

Growing up, there was always a small part of her that wanted to see what world was like. Sample the forbidden fruits.

And honestly?

It sucked.

So she pretended.

In the parties her Grandmother threw she was constantly looking around for someone to talk to. Someone who would find the topes and monecals as entertaining as she did. Someone who had her back-

"..._Rory__? _Are you okay?" Madeline, an advance member of the DAR and important contact questioned.

"What? Oh... I'm fine."

-she was looking for her mum.

...

"_This is the Gilmore-Danes house hold. Please leave your name and number the tone and we will get back to you as soon as-" "What are you doing?" "Changing your message." "Why would you do something like that?" "Your message was obscene!" "My message was humorous!" "It lacked the sense. Normal people follow one thought to another you jumped form _Casablanca _references to the structure of the Mafia to-"_

_..._

Her mother's life was chronicled through her answering machine messages, and the messages were the only part Rory had. For the first time Rory found herself an observer in a life that had so previously been so readily available. She wanted to see her mum. She wanted her to hug her, to make the hurt go away. In her teachings, Lorelai Gilmore taught Rory everything from how to fix with a broken to a broken heart. She gave Rory knowledge of movies, to the fact that old Chinese take out is _always _better. She created the perfect world for Rory.

The only aspect of life Lorelai didn't teach Rory about was failure.

She knew that was a lesson you needed to learn for yourself.

...

"I want to see my daughter."

"And she doesn't want to see you!"

Sharp voices carried. Rory cautiously approached the source.

"Honestly I don't see why your so upset. You brought this on yourself."

"_I_ brought this on myself! I bought this on _myself__! _We had a plan."

Rory blocked out the sound and turned her back. Heading back to the pool house. Her home.

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><p><strong>P<strong>**art II**

_"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."_

_Lemony Snicket_

_Ri__ng- Ring Ring- Ring Ring- Ring- Ring Ring- Ring Ring- Ring _

Rory listened to the phone ring. Calling out to it's partner across the state lines. She clutched the phone in her hand so tightly in her hand it hurt.

".._What?"_ A voice blearily called out through the line. It sounded annoyed. _"Who is this!"_

"Don't you use caller id.? Whats the point in having it if you never use it?" Rory quipped nervously. This call was a bad idea.

_"Rory?"_ If possible the voice sounded more annoyed.

"Hey. Long time no talk." Rory groaned silently. This call was a _very _bad idea.

Silence rang out over the other line, before a long beep rang out.

Jess had hung up.

...

_Ring- Ring Ring- Ring Ring- Ring- Ring Ring- Ring_

...

_Ring- Ring Ring- Ring Ring- Ring-Ring Ring_

_"-What!"_

"I screwed up and I don't know how to fix it!"

_"What?"_

"I've never not known how to fix mistakes before!"

_"What?"_

"Mistake fixing has always come easy to me."

_ "What?"_

"I would just apologies. And where some people would make an 'I'm sorry cake' I would just apologies again, and all would be forgiven. Like when I came to see you and missed me mum's graduation. Oh my-

_"Rory..."_

"-God. I missed my mum's graduation to come see _you!_ I was a horrible daughter!"

_"Rory!__"_

"I am an awful daughter. I'm an awful daughter. I'm an awful daughter, I'm an awful daughter, I'm an awful daughter."

_"RORY!"_

"Wh-what?"

_"It's half three in the morning."_

"...Oh."

_"You should probably get some sleep. Don't you have some DAR thing in the morning?"_

"Yeah."

_"And I have to work."_

"Yeah..."

_"Night Rory."_

"Goodnight Jess."

...

_Ring- Ring Ring- Ring Ring_

_"Hello?"_

"Hey?"

_"Hey."_

"Have you read any good books lately?"

_"I'm a publisher. I read good books constantly."_

"..."

_"I read mediocre books constantly."_

Laughter ran out other the phone line, travailing from both ends.

"Is there anyone you could recommend."

_"Well..."_

_..._

_Ring- Ring Ring- Ring_

_"Hey"_

"Do you think I made a mistake."

_"Huh?"_

"Dropping out of Yale? Stealing a yacht? Moving in with my grandparent?"

_"I thought you were living in the pool house?"_

"They thought a change of scenery might be nice."

_"Huh"_

"So what do you think?"

Jess glanced around the bustling room. Waiters preforming acrobatics and plates getting dropped. Noise seeping out of every pore of the establishment. He leaned, back in his seat, put down his pen and crossed his arms. _"Why are you asking me"_

"Because we are basically the same person, minus the whole monosyllable thing. We have that whole pationate book thing going" The_ We've both ran away when things got tough, _remained unsaid.

Jess remained deadly silent on the other end, but she could still here a low hubbub of noise from his end so she waited. She tucked her knees up to her chin and stared at the rain outside her window.

_"What was your mistake?"_

"Yale, yacht, grandparents."

Jess didn't even pause for a moment before answering a firm and resounding, _"Yes."_

The other line remained silent so Jess hung up. He stood up and walked towards the counter. A pair of brilliant blue eyes met his, as he sat down on a stool.

"Given up already? What happened to the power of the written word coming to you? What happened to the words coming to you? What happened to your words Jess?"

"Relax. Your toast will be written before your big day."

"Chances of you winging it on the spot?"

"About 50/50."

They both grinned widely at each other. A to-go cup was placed down on the table in front of Lorelai. She reached in and smelled the sweet aroma before looking adoringly at the bringer. "I love you."

Lane laughed. "Luke says enjoy your cup of death."

"Tell him thanks from me." Lorelai grabbed her bag and coffee, and started towards the door. She turned back round to face him, "Hey Jess? Who was on the phone." Her voice sounded fragile, like a smashed vase only hastily glued back together. She had dark circles under her eyes and she had her frame looked haggard. But she was out of the dark section, she was walking into the light. She had come to turns with her daughter leaving and her parents stabbing her in the back. She was far from good, but she was okay.

Another betrayal was not what she needed.

"Just a guy from work asking when I would be getting back. I told him not till after the wedding."

What she needed was her daughter back.

...

_Ring-_

"I miss you"

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><p><strong>Part III<strong>

_"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."_

_-Lemony Snicket_

Lorelai was getting better. Slowly, a little each day, her pieces were returning to her. Her life was a jigsaw that had been viciously ripped apart, and only now was the picture starting to be revealed again. And she wasn't doing the healing on her own, Sookie, Jackson, Lane, even Michel and Jess jumped on board wanting to help her. Jess was even going to start a _'I've been screwed over by Rory Gilmore and am proud'_ club, before Luke pointed out that it might not be a good idea. _Luke_, Lorelai smiled her familiar love giddy smile, and sighed in a love giddy way. After Michel and Sookie effectively cut her out of her own business (giving her much needed time to deal with the situation and try and cope), Luke took some days off. They started driving around Stars Hollow in his truck, his hands glued to the steering wheel, hers the radio. As the branched into the surrounding area they began talking. About everything. Their engagement, their life, Rory, their first break up, Jess, _RoryandJess_, what they were going to do next, how Luke could not want to stop into that Dairy Queen just there and eat. Everything, yet at the same time nothing.

Sitting in the plastic booth of the Dairy Queen, the subject turned to Lorelai and how she was dealing.

"Your not," Luke said flatly.

"Hey!"

"Well it's true. Your pushing all of your anger and hurt right down, and not dealing with it. It's not healthy."

"It's perfectly healthy."

"No it's not!" The Dairy Queen was practically deserted, something that made their fight more noticeable. Luke rubbed a hand down his face tiredly. Lorelai stared down, unblinkingly at her Oreo Brownie Earthquake. "Please Lorelai. Just please. Let me in."

"My heart hurts constantly and I can't make it stop."

Luke looked up at her and smiled, taking her hand. He grazed her knuckles with his thumb. "Tell me about it."

And so she did. She told him how she was feeling. That she couldn't watch TV in case a commercial they had mocked came on, couldn't watch any movies. She couldn't pick up a book, and the thought of entering Rory's room was unbearable. She cried, Luke cried. The dried their tears, left the Dairy Queen and drove home. Her heart hurt, but letting someone share the weight made her pain less noticeable. She had been carrying a weight on her chest alone, but she didn't need too. The people who loved her wanted to share the weight and the pain. And she could let them.

So she did.

...

Her wedding was fast approaching. The fact that her daughter, best friend and confident wouldn't be there devastated her less and less each day. Rory needed to sort her life out, and while Lorelai would love to be able to force her way into Rory's life, she new that this was something she needed to sort out on her own. She couldn't play fixer of all anymore.

She went to her parents. Tossed a wedding invitation for three on to the table, pilled high with betrayal and let down expectations. She asked to see her daughter. This was not allowed.

On her way out her father stopped her. He looked deep into her eyes and finally nodded getting it at last.

"This is the life you've chosen."

"Yes"

"You've broken your mothers heart."

Lorelai shrugged, the words didn't hurt her. Nothing much did any more. "She broke mine first."

Richard remained silent because really, what was there to say.

"I hope to see you at the wedding" _This is my olive branch, this is your inch. Take it, I won't give anything else._

"I hope to be there."

Lorelai smiled and walked out the door, towards her jeep and into the sun. Pulling away from the house that had imprisoned her for so long she smiled and waved. Her father waved back.

_Your power is gone. I am finally free._

...

Curled up on the coach with Luke watching a base ball game play on the screen, Lorelai frowned. She leaned forward and picked up the remote from the coffee table. She changed channels.

"Much better," Lorelai murmured, as she found_ Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ on the next channel.

Luke smiled and agreed.

...

The door bell rang at 2:30 in the afternoon. Lorelai had been attempting to clear space in her closet for Luke and welcomed the distraction. She could just buy another one for him any way.

She raced down the stairs through open the door and, "Oh."

There on the porch was Rory. She looked smaller, younger than she had done in years. She looked tired and pale, and completely 100% perfect. The breath caught in Lorelai's throat when she saw the suitcases surrounding her daughter.

"Are you staying?"

"If you'll have me."

Lorelai didn't hesitate before she threw her arms around Rory, almost knocking her backwards off the porch. They laughed as they stumbled backwards, twirling and shouting with joy. When they had calmed down, they sat on the porch swing staring at the other. Rory wanted ask a lot of questions, she needed to ask a lot of questions, and she was sure her mother had a lot of questions for her too. But there was one question that Rory couldn't put off asking.

"Have you had a wedding movie marathon yet?"

"I was waiting for you." Both Gilmore girls grinned at each other warmly. The months apart couldn't be forgotten, merely pushed aside for the moment in favor of a night of watching wedding movies, and gushing about the dress, the cake, the ring, and how much better Lorelai would look than all of them.

"But not the groom," Rory reminded Lorelai as they approached the till in the video store, arms filled with wedding related DVD's. "Luke's like the father I never had. No gushing, please."

"Fine," Lorelai said as if it was. "Oh no."

"What?"

"I haven't told Luke your back yet!." Lorelai took off at a run towards Luke's Dinner, laughing like a lunatic all the way.

"What about the films?" Rory yelled after her.

"You get them, I'll grab my man, and we'll meet up again at the crap shack in 5 minuets. Don't forget the ice cream!"

There would be time for everything else afterwards. The talking, the yelling, the tears. Rory was still out of Yale, and Lorelai had still kicked her out. But all that could come later. Right now they could focus on being a family again. And really, whats better than that?

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><p><strong>The End.<strong>

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